High Humility

If we can’t take pride in our accomplishments, what is the payoff? Does remaining humble when we achieve, reduce the benefit of the achievement and consequently lower our motivation for future success? The answer to both of these questions depends on the reasons for our efforts. Do we work and perform only so we can gloat and brag? Do we set the bar high just so that we have reason to think more highly of ourselves and can inflate our egos? Surely there are better reasons to set goals and climb ladders. If our only profit in prosperity is personal pride, then our only hope for humility is failure. If the purpose of our aspirations is for God’s glory and to serve others, then every victory is celebrated without selfish thought. We can excel and exceed without conceit. We can be humble on the top of the ladder. Humility is the enemy of pride, not the enemy of winning. We are to be on guard against arrogance, not in fear of first place. Humility is opposed to self-centeredness, not to successfulness.

Unselfish Days

It is my contention that humility is a spirit of selflessness while pride is the spirit of selfishness. A test of humility is a test to find evidence of unselfish behavior. A nineteenth century novelist and poet named Mary Anne Evans wrote a poem that invites us to view our day from this perspective. She is better known by her nom de plume George Eliot and her novel Silas Marner. Here is her poem titled, Count That Day Lost.

If you sit down at set of sun
And count the acts that you have done,
And, counting, find
One self-denying deed, one word
That eased the heart of him who heard,
One glance most kind
That fell like sunshine where it went –
Then you may count that day well spent.

But if, through all the livelong day,
You’ve cheered no heart, by yea or nay –
If, through it all
You’ve nothing done that you can trace
That brought the sunshine to one face –
No act most small
That helped some soul and nothing cost –
Then count that day as worse than lost.

I think I could interpret this to say: "a day without humility is like a day without sunshine." Those looking forward to an humble man's company might easily say of his arrival: "here comes the sun."

A Humilitarized Zone

Have you ever been in a room of people where everyone present, including yourself, were being humble? You all treated each other with extreme respect and were more interested in others than yourselves? Everyone was soft spoken and it felt like no one was being judged? Have you ever been in that kind of humble environment where you were totally unconcerned about what others were thinking about you and completely enthralled by those in the room with you? Can you remember a time when you were caring so much about people you were with that you didn’t do any analyzing, second guessing, interrupting, attempting to please and impress, or playing games? You didn’t care if anyone listened to you, laughed at your story, or noticed you? What a sane and peaceful time that would be; to bask in the warmth of selflessness; to bath in the serenity of humility. Have you ever been there, in an estrogen and testosterone free room, in a place far from vanity and pride? Have you ever enjoyed the company of people with no wood or plastic, only tender flesh untainted by gall? Were you ever a part of a mild-mannered meeting of genuinely meek and gracious men and women having no agenda, nothing to gain, and not needing to be petted or praised? Have you been in the midst of a humilitarized zone like this unassisted by drugs, alcohol, or lack of sleep and not on the top floor of a hospital? Me either.

Sickness and Death

Sickness and death can be greeted with humility or with angry and pernicious pride. The prideful one asks “Why me, Lord?” while the humble one asks “Is that you, Lord?” When suffering comes, pride asks, “What did I do to deserve this?” while humility asks, “How Lord will you use this for your glory?” We recognize a prideful response when every sentence is full of “I.” The humble response is full of “Thy.” Sadly, the prideful man faces sickness and death with unrest, resentment, and feelings of loss. The humble man faces the same circumstances with peace, contentment, and feeling embraced. Disease and death are defeat and loss of pride for the proud. Humility accepts them as part of God’s plan to reveal His power, glory, faithfulness and trustworthiness. The humble man doesn’t love sickness and death anymore that the prideful man does. But, the humble man isn’t afraid when they come knocking. The prideful one may find his faith shaken by suffering. The humble one discovers in the midst of suffering his faith grows stronger.

If there is pain, distress, misery, affliction;
Don’t add to your plight a big “I me” addiction.
Humble yourself as in all situations;
God is near, be prepared for some new revelations.

Humility, Gentleness, and Also Patience

An argument starts, Or just continues,
Breaking hearts and bones and sinews.
No pause for civil problem solving
No notice of the love dissolving
Curse the pride that fans the fire.
Curse the ever deepening mire.
Three things conquer pride’s creations:
Humility , gentleness and also patience.

One drink began a loathsome journey
Ending on a cold basement gurney.
No cry for help, no quiet contrition,
No addiction to alcohol admission.
Curse the pride that hides the pain.
Curse the choice to die in vein.
Three things break up pride’s fixations:
Humility, gentleness and also patience.

Lust for power, wealth and pleasure,
Successful living by man’s measure.
No need to reach up for God’s hand.
No rock foundation, only sand.
Curse the pride that drives man’s greed.
Curse the sad self-centered creed.
Three things silence life’s flirtations:
Humility, gentleness and also patience.

When pride arrives, disgrace comes too. (Proverbs 11:2)
The pride of heart always deceives you. (Jeremiah 49:16)
Pride breeds quarrels, precedes a fall. (Proverbs 13:10; 16:18)
It doesn’t leave God any room at all. (Psalm 10:4)
God hates the arrogant, hates the proud. (Proverbs 8:3)
God hates and will punish this woeful crowd. (Proverbs 16:5)
Three things lacking across the nations:
Humility, gentleness and also patience.

"So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience;" (Colossians 3:12)

"Walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience," (Ephesians 4:1-2)

Charisma

John Maxwell says the quality that draws other people to a leader can be summarized in one word: CHARISMA. In his book Be A People Person: Effective Leadership Through Effective Relationships, Maxwell says “the potential to be charismatic lies within each of us, but first we must remove hindrances from the development of this important personality characteristic.” The very first hindrance he gives is PRIDE. People are not drawn to someone who is arrogant and prideful. Maxwell explains that pride is a roadblock to charisma because "a prideful person will have a tendency to look down on other people."

We are not drawn to people who are full of themselves. We are, however, drawn to people who exhibit at least a little humility. People who are humble are approachable. They are touchable. They are warm and real. Those who are pride-full repel us. We aren’t sure we can trust them. We are challenged by their conceit to find a flaw, a chink in their armor. They may think they have charisma, but what they have is obnoxia.

If we are alarmed by selfishness and charmed by selflessness, what sort of persons should we want to be? If we enjoy people, want their company and want to invest our lives in them, we will learn to be humble. Humility will be among the qualities which we covet and practice. We will despise egotism and egoism when we see it in ourselves as much as we dislike it when we find it in others. We will be drawn more toward those in whom we find humility and influenced less by those with swagger and gall. We will become more honest and authentic, and finally find what Maxwell means by charisma.

Judging Judy

The ease with which we quickly judge the stranger on the street is a testimony to the ample arrogance and pride present within us. The discipline required to avoid judging is an example of the strength and power of humility. One must be very humble to resist the urge to judge. Jesus asks, “Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?” I think we do that because our pride views our own faults through the wrong end of a telescope while looking at the faults of others through a microscope. Pride enables us to build up ourselves by tearing down others.

Attempting to stop judging others is an exercise in humility. I’m not going to judge. I’m not going to judge. Just when I tell myself, “I’m not going to judge” a young freakish looking teenager comes in to view with his hand on the crotch of his pants to keep them from falling down. I am not going to judge. I will not judge him. I am withholding judgment. I realize that I must try to have a positive thought about the teen to draw my focus away from his humongous speck. In the midst of my moment of misery a middle aged woman appears. Oh great! This woman looks like she has been living on a diet of Pop-Tarts and Twinkies. Her hugeness is not going to cause me to judge. I am not going to judge. I cannot judge her. It’s not going to happen. Breathe deeply. Look away. Ooops! I didn’t mean for my eyes to become fixed on a co-worker with whom I have had numerous problems. I am not going to judge even though a video tape is playing countless scenes in my head. Stop the tape! I will not judge. I will not judge!!!

Children. Let’s just watch the children. They are small and sweet. There isn’t anything about them that tempts me to judge. They are playful and beautiful, most of the time. Sometimes they can be way too rowdy and loud and disrespectful. That is because their parents don’t teach them right from wrong, or they are divorced, or they never married, or they’re vegetarians. Most parents are too selfish or too lazy to give their children the kind of love and spankings they deserve. That is why children become teens with their pants around their knees, or they put on pounds and pounds of ugly flesh, or become contentious coworkers. . . . But, I am not going to judge. I’m not. I’m too humble for that.

The Enemy of Peace

Pride is a great spoiler of peace and contentment. I watched a much older man than I insist on participating in work from which he could easily have been excused. Pride drives him, as it does many men and women, to attempt things which are as unnecessary as they are dangerous. A little humility would allow him to avoid injury, enjoy the peace and tranquility of old age, and resist the desire to prove “I can still do it.” Pride does the same thing to the young folk. It causes young men to refuse help or advice from their wife or mother. It causes young women to resist assistance from their husband or mother. Pride turns a harmless situation into competition. Pride keeps us on edge and guarded. Humility can un-ruffle feathers, allow the blood pressure to return to normal, and drop the defensive barriers which we so quickly erect. Pride is our enemy. It is the enemy of relationships, progress, and good health.

I know a man who drove the loop around Atlanta for three days because his pride kept him from asking for directions. Actually I don’t, . . . but it could happen. Pride doesn’t keep us from going places but it keeps us from getting places. I ate at a restaurant once because I was too proud to walk away when I realized I was at the wrong restaurant. I bought an extra item at the hardware store one day because my pride wouldn’t let me stand in line at the register with only a two dollar item. Pride makes us crazy. Have you ever dangerously driven out into traffic because you were worried what the people waiting in cars behind you might think about you if you took too long? That’s pride at work. When God demands that we become humble it is for our own good. God wants us to drop the pride and enjoy the abundant life. With pride out of the way, we can lean upon God, learn from God, and realize the peace and contentment that He has granted all who love Him and humbly trust in His Son. Proverbs 22:4 says, “The reward of humility and the fear of the Lord are riches, honor and life.”

I Am Embarrassed To Say So

I am perfectly capable of embarrassing myself without any outside help. I can fall on my face without being pushed. I’m not bragging, I’m braying. Embarrassment is not a measurement of humility. An embarrassing moment can be an opportunity for humility. It is equally opportunity for the emergence of pride. When pride kicks in, the awkward moment becomes a foolish moment, a strange moment becomes a deranged moment, a fumble becomes a fiasco, mental clumsiness turns into mental collapse, and a boo-boo turns into pooh-pooh. There is something about an embarrassment that puts us on the defense. That something is self-centeredness and pride. Afraid of losing face, pride steps forward and makes sure we do. Afraid of injuring our ego, pride takes control and fractures our self-respect. Pride is our enemy, not our friend. When you stumble, don’t be arrogant. Be humble.

Humility will take the sting out of an embarrassing moment. Lowliness allows the observer of your mishap to have a moment of delight but inhibits the need for him to rub your nose in it. When we are humble, we can laugh at our most shameful slipups. Humility is the characteristic of not taking self too seriously. When self is not the center of our world, getting our self in a pickle is not the end of our world. Humility works wonder on a blunder. It is always the best reaction to humiliation. But, it takes discipline. It takes self-control. Pride is the reaction of the undisciplined. That ought to tell us something about the foolishness of it. Let humility be your choice and you will not only survive those occasions when one of your two left feet is in your mouth, but you will take pleasure in the taste and walk better because of it. I don’t know what that means, but because I’m humble it’s okay.

Taking A Bullet

Humility involves taking a step away from self and toward another. When one is humble that can happen. Pride is self-centered and unable to detach from one’s own self-interests. The size of the step away from self will involve increasingly greater amounts of self-sacrifice. Throwing one’s self on a grenade or taking a bullet for someone reveals a courageous and heroic spirit but also requires humility. Let me qualify that statement. If the acts just mentioned are nothing more than trained or programmed reflexes, then they may not involve humility or courage or heroism. I would like to believe even hardened professional soldiers do not react from a purely programmed impulse. There must also be courage and humility present for the bravest decision to be made, even if those are also learned.

Smaller steps away from self are also commendable. Self-sacrifice, and thus humility, are required in order to bite your tongue when there is temptation to attack, allow someone else to be the center of attention, absorb unjust criticism, listen a little longer than you would like, allow someone else’s idea to eclipse your own, take the blame for someone else’s mistake, applaud something you might rather criticize, bend instead of stiffen, smile instead of scowl, agree when you have every right to disagree, and choose peace when anyone else in your shoes would start a war. None of these are easy. In fact they all demand the strength of true humility. They are all a little bit like taking a bullet or falling on a grenade. You might even say some of these situations feel like being nailed to a cross. Following Christ, as we take up our cross daily, involves learning a lot about the humility of Christ. He stepped away from himself to bear our burden. He sacrificed his life, so that we could live. “He humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” (Philippians 2:8)