Okay. So you’re having a conversation and you are trying to be humblesome. How are you doing? Make a speedy personal appraisal of your deportment using this checklist.
- Is at least 40 percent of the conversation not about me?
- Am I showing any interest in what others are saying?
- Have I relinquished control of the conversation?
- Have there been periods of 2 to 3 minutes when I said nothing?
- Am I responding with proper emotion to what others are saying? (i.e., joy, surprise, righteous indignation)
- Has my body language communicated positively? (i.e., nods, winks, smiles, the motion Italians make with their fingers to their lips when something is especially tasty)
- Have I avoided negative body language? (i.e., staring at the ceiling, arms crossed like a referee’s delay of game penalty, fingers shaped like an “L” placed on the forehead)
- Have I extended any compliment, praise, thanks, or offers to assist?
- Have I carefully limited unsolicited advice?
- Have I observed the traffic signs displayed by others in the conversation? (i.e., stop, go, yield, time out, slow children, quiet zone, personal space: do not come any closer!)
If you can answer “Yes” to all of these you are most humble, indeed. Keep it up. Humility will win friends and rob your enemies of ammunition. If you answered “No” to any one of these, you have a problem. Examine each question for which you answered “No.” You now have the wonderful opportunity to grow in your humility and to correct a flaw which others could see but no one has been brave enough to show you.
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